So Frustrated...

Okay... trying to take some deep breaths. Trying to move from cynicism to allowing God to take over. I struggle in times like this because if we don't actively work the issues, God isn't going to swoop down and do it for us. There are things that we have to take on and search out in order to problem solve. And we have been hit with problems today.

So as you may have guessed, I had a rough day. Joe and I went on a walk when I got home from work so that I could just blow off some steam (the treadmill would have been better but I didn't have that much energy left in me.) I told him I didn't know how on earth I was supposed to get through another year+ of this adoption drama. And he felt it too today being on the phone with case workers, doctors, senator assistants, etc... It just always seems like we are missing puzzle pieces and things turn out to be 11th hour nightmares (things that easily could have been avoided had we had more info.)

And again - it doesn't do any good to point fingers... water under the bridge. All I care about right now is hearing the words "the embassy in Haiti has your I-171H paperwork and you are good to go."

And now we find out that we have to fork over $500 for immunization's on Thursday (again, 11th hour nightmare.) The insurance covers Hep A & Tetanus, but not Hep B or Typhoid, and the doctor tells us that we will have to file the insurance claim ourselves... I ask: "why can't they handle it like every other doctor visit and bill them for us?" I can see the storm this creates down the road with convincing the insurance that they should pay this bill. So now we are now both wondering if it's worth the hassle.

We have tried so hard to follow every guideline, process and tip. Where did we mess up here?

And as I type, Joe is watching some Discovery Channel program about finger-printing technology. Don't even get me started! I am again, so frustrated by the process and red tape we are going through. Again, the whole "criminals have it easy" applies right now. We are good people, with good intentions. We just want a family... We are tired of being just "Joe and Jill." We are tired of being dubbed "selfish" when people don't know our story. I am tired of having "unexplained infertility." We just want to bring our son home from Haiti.

I am not a drama queen... but today, I feel like one.